Saturday, April 30, 2011

Book Review: Bossypants


In another undisguised attempt at avoiding finishing A Tale of Two Cities (it's not really my fault.  The library  keeps giving me all these goodies), I read Tina Fey's new book Bossypants.

Let's be real here.  I had no idea who Tina Fey was until the last presidential election.  I had been happily disengaged for the majority of the campaign, and when Hillary was out of the running I wasn't interested anymore.  I'm not a fan of Hillary, but once she was out though I felt like the drama was over and I didn't care who won.  To me---a woman who considers herself fiscally conservative but socially liberal (i.e. there's no party for me)---the difference between Barack and John was, well, very small.  Then, Sarah Palin came along.  I was excited about the campaign again.  It had nothing to do with the fact that she was a woman or a governor no one had ever heard of or that I had any hope that she could make a real difference.  I was excited because things FINALLY got interesting again.  Sarah Palin was saying crazy stuff...and Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were making it even funnier!  

Obviously, Fey devotes time in the book to her parody of Sarah Palin and how it effected her career, but there's a lot more here too.  She follows a fairly chronological path in the memoir.  Fey discusses the large scar on her face that she got as a victim of a random slashing in the alley behind her house at age 5.  She discusses her relationship with her parents and her time growing up as a theatre geek in high school.  And as you would expect, she writes about her time with Second City, Saturday Night Live, and 30 Rock.  Most of the book, however, is devoted to random rants about various topics...which, quite frankly, makes it laugh out loud hilarious.  

We don't get to hear anything (and I mean ANYTHING) about how she met her husband or their wedding or really much about their relationship at all.  We DO get to hear about a horrible cruise they went on that resulted in them nearly sinking and evacuating the boat and the time she climbed a mountain with a boy she liked (not her husband) in the middle of the night with his pissed off roommate only to find out he liked another girl named Gretchen.  We don't get to hear much about her daughter Alice.  We DO experience her reflections about having a nanny that cuts the kid's finger nails too short.  That train of thought leads into a passage about how breastfeeding and working seem to be the most divisive topics that you can bring up in a group of moms.  There are a couple of chapters about being too skinny and being too fat and a whole chapter of letters she'd like to mail to people who made negative comments about her on the Internet.  

I admit it.  It sounds like a big mushy potluck of topics.  And it is.  But when it's over, you've laughed, you've reminisced (in my case, I looked back fondly at my high school and college days of working on school plays), and you have a sense of who Tina Fey really is when she's at home hanging out with her family.

In the end, she talks about how she would like to have another child so her daughter has a sibling, but she's not sure if it's in the cards.  I really liked a quote from that chapter:

It's now or never.  This decision cannot be delayed.  And what's so great about work anyway?  Work won't visit you when you're old.  Work won't drive you to get a mammogram and take you out after for soup.  It's too much pressure on my one kid to expect her to shoulder all those duties alone.  Also, what if she turns on me?  I am pretty hard to like.  I need a back up.  And who will be my daughter's family when my husband and I are dead from stress-induced cankers?  She must have a sibling.  Hollywood be damned.  I'll just be unemployable and labeled crazy in five years anyway.
(Bossypants, page 270)

Just last month, she revealed that she's expecting her second child---so yay for Tina!  My bottom line review on this book is this.  If you like Tina Fey and you're looking for a fun light read with no earth shattering expectations, you will enjoy this book and you will root for Tina.  You'll do this because despite her stardom, she's just another mom trying to do her best for her family and still achieve her dreams.  And you'll laugh out loud all the way to the end of the book.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Far Far Away Quilt---Block #1


Yesterday I finally finished the first block for Red's Far Far Away Quilt.  Inspired by House of A La Mode's Princess and the Pea quilt, I decided to give the blocks the "wonky" treatment.  I think the playfulness of the fabric lends itself to being pieced together imperfectly.  My plan right now is to have the quilt made up of 12 18 inch blocks with solid sashing surrounding each block.  I can't decide what color I want that solid to be.  Initially I thought I would use orange or pink minky for the sashing, but now I'm not sure.  I think using the minky might distract from the blocks.  I thought about using white, but I don't know if white and Red will mix well.  I have visions of stains on the white part.  Maybe my fear is unwarranted.  Just FYI--- her room is painted sage green and there are bright pink curtains.  Here's a link back to her bed canopy.  What color sashing would you use?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Tough Day at the Office

Monday started out pretty standard.  I went to work out at the gym.  I came home, checked my email, wrote up an Easter blog post, and made the kids breakfast.  While changing over some laundry, I called my friend Maureen to discuss some PTA stuff.  Don't even get me started on that one.  Midway through the phone call there was a crash and some crying.  This happens so often around here it barely makes me blink anymore.  I told Maureen I'd call her back once I found out what happened.  Next thing I know Tom Thumb is running down the hall towards me with his face covered in blood.

My mama instincts kicked in.  I don't even remember getting the rag to cover the bleeding part of his head.  After I convinced him it would be okay if I took the rag away to look at his wound,  I peeked at it.  I have developed a remarkably strong stomach since having children (cleaning up a lot of poop and vomit over the years has helped), and I knew right away there would be some stitches or glue involved with this one.  I couldn't reach my mother so I repeatedly called the Cobbler's cell phone until he picked up and said, "I'm kind of running a meeting right now.  What's up?"  Needless to say, he was home in 5 minutes and holding Tom Thumb's head while I drove to the hospital.

Luckily, the ER was empty.  Seriously, who gets wounded at 930AM on a Monday?  Some nice paramedics wrapped up my little guy's head (he looked like a soap star with a head injury wrapped up in all that gauze) and helped him wash up.  He did look kind of comical wearing his silver sequin knight costume that was now covered in blood.  It looked like he'd been in a real battle.  I was so worked up that I didn't pay much attention while the doctor glued him back together, although when he revealed that he once glued a kid's eye shut when he was a resident that didn't give me a lot of confidence.

When we were on our way to Taco Bell (That seems to be our post ER ritual now.  The Cobbler told Red straight up that if she better not intentionally hurt herself to get a taco), the Cobbler said, "I was really worried about that doctor."  Apparently while I was off in mommy adrenaline la la land prior to the doctor's glue confession, the Cobbler said he had a case of the dropsies.  First, he dropped his clipboard on the floor.  Then, a pair of gloves.  Next, a container of antiseptic.  I said, "Well, did he at least do a good job with the glue?"  I hadn't been looking since I was holding Tom Thumb and keeping his hair off his forehead.  "He seemed to do okay with that," the Cobbler replied.  Hopefully he learned his lesson when he glued that other kid's eye shut.  I can't imagine the parents were very happy.

So Monday was pretty much shot.  No clean socks for you.  Of course, it's like it never happened.  The kids are still running and crashing into things, despite me yelling, "WALK!!!  You're going to give mommy a heart attack!"  They apparently don't mind that they're sending me to an early grave.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Our Marshmallow Drop, Eggs Dyed and Smashed, and What the Bunny Brought...

Last year we went to the marshmallow drop for the first time.  In essence, there's a big roped off field that is surrounded by parents and kids.  A helicopter comes along, drops a load of marshmallows out of the sky, everyone runs to get a marshmallow, and the kids can turn in a marshmallow for a small bag of candy and trinkets.  The marshmallow drop was scheduled for Friday morning at 9AM.  In order to get there and get a parking spot, we would have needed to leave before 8AM.  I woke up on Friday morning, and it was raining and 37 degrees.  Definitely not ideal.  I, for one, did not want to go, but we had two little ones who had been looking forward to this day for weeks.  So what's the next best thing to marshmallows dropping out of a helicopter?  Daddy dropping them out of the upstairs bathroom window!


On Saturday, we did the annual egg dye with Aunt Christy and Grandma Mary Jane.








Easter morning was a big hit.  The bunny brought bubbles (already gone---used and spilled on the front porch yesterday), egg shaped sidewalk chalk, bunny straws (kids LOVED these), glow wands, balloons (did I say I love the dollar store?) and Peeps (gotta have the Peeps!)



With Easter morning, came the annual egg smashing.  I was taken out of the competition almost immediately by my mom.  In the end, Christy was the big winner.

Christy already looks triumphant and this was just her first smash!
After church, Easter breakfast at church, and the big meal at our house yesterday, I was ready for a nap.  Did I get one?  No! And today it's back to the Mount Everest of laundry, but after a fun weekend like that climbing the mountain will be a little easier.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Easter Egg Hunt and Our Spring Display

This past weekend was our annual neighborhood egg hunt.  The same family every year stuffs 500-800 eggs and puts them out in one of the common areas for the all the kids to have at it. Needless to say, the kids LOVE it!  The bunny hops three times and they're off and running!
Tom Thumb and Red had quite a haul!

Here's Red with two of her best friends at the hunt.
Then the kids visited with the Easter Bunny.
When we got home, we dumped all the candy out of the eggs into a bowl that's now on top of the fridge (otherwise it would be gone by now---guaranteed).  Then, we put Christmas ornament hooks through the top of all the plastic eggs that had holes in them intending to hang them on the tree in our front yard.  It was really windy that day so instead the kids decorated the vase of pussy willows my mom brought by last week and displayed all their other spring treasures.
I got motivated and made a new wreath for the front door out of a $12 twig wreath from Joann (I used a 40% coupon so I got it for a little over $7) and 3 forsythia sprays that I cut up (got those for about $4).  I like it.  It says spring to me. :-)


Now if spring would only come...

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Day #30 of 30 Days to a Simpler Life --- Get a Little Help from Your Friends


Your task for today is to call three friends and ask, "What are some ways you have simplified your life?"

In this final chapter of 30 Days to a Simpler Life, the authors included pages of tips from all their friends.  I enjoyed reading them, and I'm sure you will too!  I checked out another book from the library during this process called Life's Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets.  It has a lot of household and organization tips in it too, but I found its value to be more in the author's sense of humor.  I couldn't leave day #30 without giving you this quote from that book:

Take a look at your life---do you like what you see?  Live every day like it's the last one.  Find a passion, not an OCD.  No drama allowed.  Don't worry about all the toys; just hold your kids and smooch them on their perfect little heads.  Embrace the chaos.  Quit trying to keep up with the Joneses and tell those jealous bitches to suck it.  Give yourself some credit.  Do less and enjoy more.  Wave your hands in the air like you just don't care.  Put down the glue gun and step away, ma'am.

So while I'd love to think that I'm now the maven of simplicity (ha ha), I have a long way to go baby.  Just because I know lots of hints and tips now doesn't mean I'm going to be motivated to apply them everyday---  and that's okay.  I think what I got out of this process is the knowledge that I can do it!  It might not happen as fast as it does on HGTV or TLC, but it can happen.  I just need to commit to getting one thing done and just do it one step at a time.  One of my college friends used to always say to me, "You can't eat an elephant in one bite."  I always found that quote a little gross (visions of eating a pachyderm raw---ick), but she was right.  One step at a time is the only way to get anything done.  So I'm putting down my glue gun and I'm looking forward to a fun Easter weekend with the family.  Next week I'll be back to business, but until then here are five recurring themes that the authors of 30 Days to a Simpler Life experienced when they asked their friends how they simplified their lives:
  • Drop perfectionism and the guilt it produces.
  • Learn to say "No!" right away.
  • Make a commitment to your health---eat well, exercise, and get adequate sleep.
  • Edit negative people from your life.
  • Avoid shopping whenever possible.
(Page 183)

Wow---imagine how much easier life would be if we could just do those five things!  How have you simplified your life?  What's your best tip you can share?  Thanks everyone for coming on this journey with me!  

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Day #29 of 30 Days to a Simpler Life --- Find Out What Works


Today fill out the checklist below.  It will help you see at a glance what works and what doesn't in your life.  Make a copy of this list and keep it in a place where you will refer to it again (your bulletin board or date book).  Add additional categories as they occur to you.  (30 Days to a Simpler Life, p. 180-182)

There is no way I can do today without sharing the list...and what a list it is!  Decide if you're okay or need help in the following areas.  My answers to the questions are bolded to the right.

Closet
Love and Wear clothes exclusively     OK
Closet organized     Help (I still have some stray stuff on the floor that needs donating)      
Accessories managed    OK    
   Stockings     OK (I only own 1 pair...I'd say this is okay :-)
    Belts     OK
    Scarves    OK
    Shoes     OK
    Jewelry    OK

Clothing Systems
Dry-cleaning system    OK (we don't really dry clean much :-)
Laundry system     Help (it could be better.  Tom Thumb was out of underwear yesterday.)
Out of season system    OK (all in Rubbermaid tubs or hung in the hall closet.  It was fine until Red raided the summer bin a couple days ago for some shorts.  Now all is chaos!)
Recycling System     OK (outgrown or not used clothes go to Purple Heart or my niece and nephew)

Linen closet     Help (needs assistance after I bought new pillows for the guests from Tennessee last month. Now it's jammed!)

Kitchen
   Counters cleared     Help (I'm still working on keeping that darn counter cleaned off)
   Storage organized     OK
   Love and Use items exclusively     OK (except the china cabinet, but that's technically in the dining room :-)
   Meal Planning System     OK
   Grocery Shopping System     OK
   Entertaining Menus and Setup   Help (but I'm really not entertaining much currently so maybe I am OK)

Home Office
Mail Handling     OK
Desktop Papers     Help (I get this under control and then this immediately goes to hell again)
Office Supplies     OK
Bill-Paying System     OK (Cobbler's domain)
Filing System     OK (all below are okay.  They could use some updating, but are okay)
     Current   OK
     Important Documents   OK (in safe)
     Estate planning   OK (in safe)
     Tax records   OK (yay---taxes were filed on Saturday)
     Home improvement records   OK
     Insurances   OK
     Archives   OK
Stationery and stamps   OK
Ticket system   OK
Gift wrapping   OK
Photos   Help (still working on this one)
Subscriptions   OK
Travel files and planning   OK

Kids
Kids' rooms
     Closet   Help (Tom Thumb's closet leaves something to be desired)
     Desk   OK (because there aren't any!)
     Storage   OK
Kids' papers and mementos  Help (Just got caught up on pasting Red's art projects into her book today.  Still a long way to go.)
Babysitter information current   OK

House Maintenance
Supplies organized   OK
Daily Routine  Help (in all these cases, I have a written routine I just don't do it)
Weekly Routine   Help
Seasonal Routine   Help

Garage OK (Cobbler's domain)

General
House sitter information current     OK (more cat sitter than anything)
Recycling system for useless stuff   OK

OR for serious simplifiers only...

If you are highly motivated, in the next three months, tackle all the areas marked "Help."  Some areas will take just a few minutes to simplify and organize, while other will take hours.  Imagine how you will feel when the job is complete.  (30 Days to a Simpler Life, p. 182)
           
I'm going to keep at it when this 30 day process is done.  For me, it's going to be a life long thing I'll continue to work on.  I'm not a naturally organized person (I tend to drop things on the floor as I walk along) so I really have to be intentional about simplifying and organizing.  As I've been saying all along---baby steps.  I think you'll see a lot more posts in the coming year about meeting the challenges above.

Today is my Dad's 67th birthday!  That's my Dad and Red at my Grandma's cottage on Lake Erie almost 6 years ago.  Happy birthday Daddy!  We're going over to my parents' house tonight to celebrate by eating some of my mom's homemade pineapple torte.  Yum!  My little sister is in town from Wisconsin for a visit too.  Can't wait! :-)

Monday, April 18, 2011

Day #28 of 30 Days to a Simpler Life --- Get Physical!


Make an appointment on your calendar to exercise three to four times a week for an hour, or daily for 30 minutes.  This is a manageable amount of time for most people.  With a simple routine, you won't have to think about when to exercise---it's prescheduled!  (30 Days to a Simpler Life, p. 175)

OR for serious simplifiers only...

Each day, exercise for at least an hour and stretch for 15 minutes.  On weekends, set aside time for recreational exercise.  You will be more relaxed and refreshed for the coming week.  On your next vacation, be more physical.  Plan a golf, walking, trekking, biking, river-rafting, or cross-country skiing vacation.  (30 Days to a Simpler Life, p. 179)

Back on January 11th, I blogged about how I was "skinny fat."  I had gone to the rec center, been assessed by the trainer, and found out that I was extremely unhealthy.  Since the first week in February (barring extreme weather or illness), I have been going to the gym three mornings a week to lift weights and do cardio with my friend Colleen.  I usually get there between 530 and 6AM and am home before 730AM so the Cobbler can go to work for 8AM.  The first two weeks were killer.  I seriously thought I wouldn't make it.  My body hurt all over, I was wheezing after 5 minutes on the elliptical machine, and I was having shortness of breath during the day even when I wasn't exercising.  It was not a good scene.  

Amazingly though, it has gotten easier and easier as time has gone on.  The first week my arms shook when I did the Arnold press using only 5 pound weights.  Last week I made it through three sets of "the Arnold" using 12.5 pound weights.  When I was assessed, I could only do 12 modified (AKA "girly") push ups.  I just dropped as I was writing this to see how many can do today.  I just did 28 plank push ups.  My body feels stronger and although my weight hasn't changed (that wasn't my aim---I was actually trying to gain muscle and weight), I feel like my body has rearranged itself.  I keep telling the Cobbler to feel the back of my arm because there's a muscle there that wasn't there before!  It's not like I look ripped or anything, but I teased Colleen last night that I'm going to go five days a week in August and September so I can have Michelle Obama arms for my sister's wedding in October.  :-)

Today is the first day of spring break --- no school all week---and it's snowing here!  I don't think I remember a time when it snowed this late in the year.  I'm really disappointed because I had all these grandiose plans in my mind about all the things we were going to do outside today.  Maybe we can make a snowman instead?

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Book Review: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother


After seeing all the press lately about Amy Chua and the Tiger mother philosophy, I put myself on the hold list for Chua's book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, at the library.  It came in at the library last week and despite the fact I'm still not done with A Tale of Two Cities or Jane Eyre, I took it anyway.  On a side note, the Cobbler caught me red handed with it!  I was supposed to be finishing up A Tale of Two Cities for my book club meeting which was last Wednesday, but I was trading off --- a trudge through a chapter of Dickens and then I would treat myself with a quick chapter of Tiger Mother.  Dickens.  Tiger Mother.  Dickens.  Tiger Mother.  The Cobbler said, "So how far are you now?"  and I replied, "Page 150 in the Tale of Two Cities.  Page 63 in Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother."  And the eye rolling commenced.

Okay---back to the book review.  First off, if you're looking for a quick and easy read, this one is for you.  Compared to Dickens, there is a lot of white space on each page which was a welcome breather for me.  The content, however, was a bit heavier (not heavier than Dickens.  Just heavier than I was expecting).  If you're not familiar with Chua or the book, allow me to share with you the list of activities from the back cover of the book that Chua's two daughters (now teenagers) were never allowed to do:
  • attend a sleepover
  • have a playdate
  • be in a school play
  • complain about not being in a school play
  • watch TV or play video games
  • choose their own extra curricular activities
  • get any grade less than an A
  • not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama
  • play any instrument other than the violin or piano
  • not play violin or piano
Sounds like a fun childhood, eh?  Here's some background on the author.  She's a law professor at Yale who is of Chinese descent.  Her husband (who is Jewish and white) is also a professor at Yale.  When they had their children Sophia and Louisa (AKA Lulu), they agreed to parent the kids using the Chinese method.  Throughout the book, Chua shows open disdain for Western parenting which she considers to be lax and a disservice to the children who are not being brought to their full potential.

I consider my parenting style to be loving, but also firm and consistent for the most part (we all have our days, right?). I encourage creativity.  If my kids want to paint, we paint.  If they want to play outside, we play outside.  Red took two years of figure skating from age 3 to 5 because she asked for ice skates for Christmas.  She excelled at the sport for her age.  When she didn't want to skate anymore at the start of last year's season because she said "it's cold and there are boys in my class", I allowed her to not continue.  Tom Thumb hasn't shown interest in doing anything extracurricular yet.  That's not quite true.  He did try dance lessons for 3 weeks, but then decided that he'd rather sit in the hall outside the classroom on my lap with his blanket and his thumb.  That was fine with me.

Being a fairly laid back parent, some of the scenes from the book shocked me.  Keep in mind that I am saving the most shocking examples for you to read yourself should you choose to read the book.  Here are a couple examples. At 3 years old, Chua started her daughter Sophia in piano lessons.  When she was 5, she had Sophia practicing 90 minutes per day.  Here's a quote from the book about it. 

According to Sophia, here are three things I actually said to her at the piano as I supervised her practicing:
1. Oh my God, you're just getting worse and worse.
2. I'm going to count to three, then I want musicality!
3. If the next time's not PERFECT, I'm going to TAKE ALL YOUR STUFFED ANIMALS AND BURN THEM!

Another scene in the book that stood out to me was when the family goes out to dinner to celebrate Chua's birthday and her daughters each have a birthday card to present to her that they made.  After Lulu gives her the card she made, Chua responds with:

"I don't want this...I want a better one----one that you've put some thought and effort into.  I have a special box, where I keep all my cards from you and Sophia and this one can't go in there...What if I gave you this for your birthday, Lulu----would you like that?  But I would never do that, Lulu.  No---I get you magicians and giant slides that cost me hundreds of dollars.  I get you huge ice cream cakes shaped like penguins, and spend half my salary on stupid sticker and eraser party favors that everyone just throws away.  I work so hard to give you good birthdays!  I deserve better than this.  So I reject this."  (Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 103)

It would never even occur to me to have those words come out of my mouth.  This woman is hardcore...and maybe a wee bit crazy.  That being said, the results she has gotten from her children both musically and academically are undeniable.  Sophia has played at Carnegie Hall, Lulu has been a student of some of the most demanding (and in demand) violin instructors in the world, the girls performed in Hungary headlining as "Two Prodigy Sisters from America."  They accomplished all this and more while still excelling in school.  While I shared some of her more over the top moments, Chua clearly loves her children and feels her parenting style is helping them achieve their (well, maybe her) goals. 

The burning question that was in the back of my mind the entire time I was reading the book was "At what price?"  No playdates, no sleepovers, no free time?  In my mind, that equals no childhood.  Definitely not a way I want to raise my children.

One thing I've struggled with lately that I thought about even more while reading this book is Red and her swimming.  The one thing the Cobbler feels very strongly about is that both children should take swim lessons until they can swim proficiently.  He always has said, "Swimming is a life skill, not an extracurricular activity.  Not swimming is not an option."  Little did he know that we would have a daughter born to us who is terrified of water.  Red has taken swim lessons since she was 6 months old.  We took a 6 month break when Tom Thumb was born (until he was 6 months old and eligible for lessons) and that's when the trouble began.  In the Tadpole swim class she was in at age 3, she screamed and cried the entire class for the first three weeks.  She had to retake Tadpoles three times before the instructors were confident she could move into the next class successfully.  Needless to say, that class didn't go well either.  Last summer when she reverted back to being afraid to put her face in the water, we started doing private lessons with our friend Colleen who also happens to be a lifeguard (and our babysitter to boot!  She's a jack of all trades).  Each week was like pulling teeth.  It took three classes of Red crying the whole time before she would let Colleen let go of her in the water even when she had a foam noodle to hold her up in the water.  I tried bribery (she got lots of erasers and Silly Bandz last summer), I pulled the Daddy card ("Just do it!  Daddy will be so proud of you!"), and I finally resorted to (I didn't know it at the time) the Tiger Mother ---"Stop being disrespectful to Colleen!  You get in that pool and you do it NOW!"  I can't even imagine what the other parents think when they see me sitting on the edge of the pool yelling commands like a drill sergeant.  But like Chua (I hate to even admit this), we have results.  Red can now dog paddle in deep water to the edge of the pool.  She still cries during most lessons, but is (dare I say) joyful when we go to the pool to swim for fun and can do things that she learned in swim lessons.  What I've learned is that there's a fine line there in parenting between pushing your child to be their best and being downright scary as a parent and that line sometimes is awful grey.  I guess if swimming is the only area where I'm a Tiger Mother (and I use that term very loosely here since our 2 measly hours of swimming during the week ---one half hour lesson and 1 1/2 hours of swimming for fun as a family---wouldn't even qualify us in Chua's book) then I guess I'm all right with that.
I leave you with this passage from the book to ponder:

   Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem.  But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up.  On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.
   There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids' true interests.  For their part, many Chinese secretly believe that they care more about their children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners, who seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly.  I think it's a misunderstanding on both sides.  All decent parents want to do what's best for their children.  The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.
    Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment.  By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits, and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.  (Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 62-63)

What do you think of the Tiger Mother parenting philosophy?  Do you think there is some value to be gleaned from Chua's story?  Do you think "Western parenting" is too relaxed?

Friday, April 15, 2011

A Very Hungry Caterpillar Party


Red had a spring party yesterday which I coordinated with my friend the fabulous Maureen, who helped me back when we did the crazy gingerbread houses for the winter party.  We decided to go with a "Very Hungry Caterpillar" theme and it actually went pretty fantastic.

We started out by reading the kids the story The Very Hungry Caterpillar, which by the end they were all chanting together, "But he was still hungry!"

Then they had the three options to choose from---eat a snack, make a butterfly magnet or play the Feed the Hungry Caterpillar bean bag game that the Red, Tom Thumb, and I made together.

Maureen was in charge of making the snack which was Caterpillar Kabobs (skewers with green grapes and a strawberry head), cheese and crackers, and these darling caterpillar cupcakes she made.  Each of those little green segments is an individual cupcake.  I love it!  If you zoom in you can even see the little fuzzy caterpillar hairs (i.e. chocolate sprinkles) she put on the edge of each cupcake---just like the illustration from the book.

For the butterfly magnet craft we used glue, a clothespin, 1/2" pom poms, pipecleaners, a magnet, and tissue paper.  First, we had the kids take 1/3 of a pipecleaner, make it into the shape of a V, and glue it to the "head" (the top part of the clothespin that opens) for the butterfly's antennae.  Then they ran a bead of glue down the rest of that side of the clothespin and covered it with pom poms.  Then, they flipped it over and glued on the magnet.  Finally, we had them take precut pieces of tissue paper (about 4" x 6") and squish them in the center of the pincher part to be the wings.  Here are the colorful results---a whole flock of butterflies!


Finally, the kids and I made fruit beanbags out of felt before school this morning for the Feed the Hungry Caterpillar game. Here are Red and Tom Thumb stuffing them with navy beans.



Here's the caterpillar head I made out of red foam board and construction paper for them to feed the fruit.  
The game was a big hit!

So that was the last party of the school year.  Maureen and I had some good times, but I guarantee there will be no gingerbread houses for 1st grade...but maybe a butterfly or two.

Day #27 of 30 Days to a Simpler Life ---Make Landscaping Easier


A successful landscape is one that you thoroughly enjoy and is easy to maintain.  Use plants that require little maintenance.  Ask the nursery for three of the most successful plants in your region.  Make these plants the mainstay of your garden.  (30 Days to a Simpler Life, p. 169)

OR for serious simplifiers only...

Schedule an hour a week in the garden---weeding, planting, pondering.  Make gardening a part of your new simpler life.  (30 Days to a Simpler Life, p. 174)

I am trying hard this year to control myself with the gardening.  I adore buying beautiful new flowers.  I spend way too much money and then they get trampled on by the kids or eaten by the neighborhood bunny rabbits.  This year I've decided 2 flats of annuals only for the front and I am going to let the rest go.  Don't get me wrong---I'm still going to weed and stuff, but I'm not going to stress out about having the perfect yard or the prettiest landscaping in the neighborhood.  I'll save that for when I'm retired.  :-)

Today's task---ugh, I really don't even want to think about---is the Cobbler and I finally have to do our taxes.  Normally, we're really on the ball and have them in early, but he counts on me to work out all the donations (i.e. take photos of everything and then punch them all into the tax program so we have an accurate estimate of what we actually gave) and I've been so busy that he hasn't pushed me to do it.  Big sigh...not looking forward to my Friday night at all.

On a happier note, check out my other post about Red's spring party and you'll see where all my energy has been sucked to over the last couple days...and it hasn't been landscaping.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Day #26 of 30 Days to a Simpler Life--- Pare Down Your Garage


Your garage is not a junk bin.  It's an important base of operations, like your kitchen and home office.  Today, sort your garage items into categories---tools, paint, gardening, recreational, barbecue, and so on.  As you sort, ask yourself:
1. Do I use it---or think I should?  If not, toss it.
2. When I want to do a project, is this item ready to use?  Am I willing to keep it cleaned and repaired?  If not, toss it.
3. Do I have enough space for this and is it well located?  If not, toss it or move it.
After you have sorted and tossed, make a list of organizers that will streamline your garage.

OR for serious simplifiers only...

One month from now, go through your garage again.  Toss more ambivalent items.  Then buy organizers for tools, gardening supplies and sports equipment.  Install them immediately!  

I am in luck today.  I have absolutely nothing to do with the garage except I park the minivan in it during the winter.  I've never cleaned it, and I've never organized it.  In fact, if I tried to organize it, I'm sure the Cobbler would be perturbed.  The garage is his domain.  His man cave.  I stay away...far far away.  Believe it or not, it's actually fairly well organized.  Generally if I need something like a shovel or a rake or some rose fertilizer, I can find it.  Or if I can't find it, I make the Cobbler go find it for me. It's the perfect situation. :-)

Instead, today I have to work on things for Red's spring party that is happening this afternoon.  My friend Maureen and I planned a "Very Hungry Caterpillar" theme so we'll read the book, play a game that I'm making (yes, I'm crazy.  I will be sewing fruit shaped bean bags all morning), make a butterfly magnet craft, and eat some cupcakes and fruit kabobs that Maureen is concocting to look like the caterpillar from the Eric Carle book.  I can't wait to share photos!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Day #25 of 30 Days to a Simpler Life --- Enjoy Your Photos and Mementos


Today, round up all of your photos and put them in one place.  That's all you have to do.  Make a commitment to buy some photo boxes in the near future.  With these boxes, you will be able to sort your photos.  Read on for details. (30 Days to a Simpler Life, p. 156)

OR for serious simplifiers only...

Create one fabulous photo album from your most prized photos of the past.  You might choose great snapshots from several big events --- vacations, birthdays, weddings, christenings.  Forget the detailed system we described above.  Don't do anything that takes more than a couple of hours.  Store the best of the rest of your photos in a banker's box and give some to family members.  Do this project, put it aside, and get back to the joy of living in the present. (30 Days to a Simpler Life, p. 163)

This chapter has a lot of helpful hints that are too numerous for me to write here, like some great ideas of what to do with color copies (e.g. greeting cards, placemats, collages, etc.).  I also liked their idea of having "An Old Lady Box."  The Old Lady Box is supposed to be a small box with mementos from the year that you put in storage to enjoy when you're an old lady.  :-)  Back to business...

In short, here's what you're supposed to do with the task above.  Once you have all the photos in one place, you are supposed to sort them into the boxes chronologically or by event or in some other fashion that makes sense to you.  Then, they advise you to buy a bunch of cheap photo albums so you can put them all in without agonizing over which photos to keep.  For all you avoiders, there is no mention of scrapbooking here!  

The one reason I think I keep not doing any photo projects is that I don't feel like scrapbooking them.  The biggest thorn in my side in this arena is our 2004 Italy trip photos.  I started a fabulous scrapbook when we got home from the trip.  I used matting and stickers and die cuts and stamping.  I got the first four days of the trip done (it was a 2 week tour) and it looks fabulous, but I just don't want to put out that much effort to finish it.  I keep beating myself up and thinking if I don't do the rest of the book just as nice as the first 4 days worth it's going to look weird.  Instead, I need to tell myself doesn't it look weirder that there's only 4 days of a 14 day trip in the scrapbook?  

On a good note, with the exception of the Italy trip, all of our photos prior to 2008 are in scrapbooks or photo albums.  The Cobbler always kept his childhood photos just shoved in a shoe box.  A couple of years ago I made him help me put them in chronological order and label them, and I put them all in photo albums.  Since Tom Thumb was born in 2007, I've pretty much done nothing other than take pictures and upload them onto the computer.  At Christmas every year, I print our top 24 greatest hits of the year for all the grandparents and aunt and uncles and put them in mini albums.  That's been about the extent of it.

So I'm setting a new goal today --- by the end of 2011, all my photos to date will be in albums or scrapbooks.  There...I said it.  Now what am I going to do with that Italy album?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Day #24 of 30 Days to a Simpler Life --- Create Hassle-Free Holidays


Make a list of the holidays you celebrate annually.  Besides each entry, write down what each holiday means to you.  For example, Thanksgiving may mean organizing a big potluck dinner for friends who don't have anyplace else to go.  Next, make another list of holidays with columns entitled "Joyful Activities" and "Stressful Activities."  Fill in the blanks.  For example, a joyful Christmas activity might be "Sending cards," whereas a stressful activity might be "Finding perfect gifts for household help."  Once the list is made, vow to maximize joy and minimize stress. 

OR for serious simplifiers only...

For one year, as each holiday approaches, choose one celebratory activity.  For example, for Christmas, just send cards, or make a wreath, or decorate a tree.  Fully experience one aspect of each holiday --- and ignore you least favorite holidays completely.  To simplify gift giving for one year, give the same gift to everyone on your list or send a card.  Get out of the loop for one year.

Holidays --- I love 'em.  Here are some photos from the last five years.  No way around it.  I love everything about them.  Can you tell?





I love New Year's Day and watching the Rose Parade.  I love Valentine's Day and making hearts with the kids.  I love St. Patrick's Day and dressing green and drinking too much beer.  I love Easter and the egg hiding and finding.  I love Memorial Day parades, 4th of July fireworks, dressing up for Halloween (I don't miss a year!), gathering around the table for Thanksgiving, and taping Christmas cards to my door in the days after we drag home the tree from our church's Christmas tree lot tied to Red and Tom Thumb's red wagon.  I even love obscure holidays like Talk Like a Pirate Day.  I don't know if I ever met a holiday I didn't like.

Now just because I like holidays doesn't mean I'm immune from the stress that accompanies Christmas.  Every year I push myself to do more and more surrounding Christmas.  I send out around 100 Christmas cards, we decorate the tree, we go to the city tree lighting ceremony, we celebrate St. Nicholas Day on December 6th (there are some great resources for celebrating this holiday here), we buy and ship a ton of gifts, and we make the big crazy meal on the actual day.  Last year I even made figgy pudding from this recipe!  This year I'm ready to take a breather, but can I actually take one?  My sister Andrea has invited us to Christmas at her house this year---her non-existent house that isn't built yet.  She and her husband have been planning to build this house for the last 5+ years on some property given to them by her husband's grandmother.  It finally looks like this will be the year it happens and I told her if it's built we will come.  I think having flexible plans will be a good excuse for me to just relax a little bit and see what happens.

In sad news, the baby bunnies are gone.  We're not exactly sure what happened, but we fear the worst since the Cobbler found some blood on a leaf in the nest.  I'm really sad and bummed out for the kids.  I haven't told them that they're gone yet.  

And poor Red has to get evaluated for some dental work next week.  She's been seeing the dentist since she was three years old with great results!  The hygienist even praised her brushing abilities and told her she could give lessons to older kids.  Well, genetics caught up with her yesterday.  At her appointment 6 months ago, the dentist said there may be some decay between two of her molars in her upper jaw but they couldn't tell since they couldn't get the bite wings in for an X ray without her gagging.  They were able to finally do the X ray yesterday and the decay was there.  She has to see a pediatric dentist to get it repaired.  In the meantime, I have to brush her teeth.  Red actually cried at the dentist and said, "I'm a baby now?  I can't even brush my own teeth!??!"  I felt so bad for her that I even got weepy and had a good cry while locked in the bathroom when we got home.  I feel responsible as a mom too.  At the appointment six months ago, the dentist suggested flossing and rinsing with mouthwash daily.  I kept up with it for a few months, but then didn't insist upon it.  The dentist asked me if she uses sippy cups (no) or eats sticky sweet foods (yes, we gave her a lot of jelly beans while we were working with Tom Thumb on the finer details of potty training since he was getting them).  I definitely had a bad mom moment.  After talking to a few of my friends and realizing I'm not the only one with a kid who has teeth problems, I felt a little better.  I've never had a cavity in my life, but the Cobbler's teeth aren't so hot and the rest of my entire family (my mom and my sisters) have all had a TON of dental work.  I just need to buckle down, do what I can do (yes, we will be flossing and rinsing nightly from now on) and let the rest go.  I need to apply that philosophy to other areas of my life too.