Some changes--- what am I doing!?!?

So this week has been very tumultuous.  Here's the story:

On Sunday, I was approached after church by a mother of one of my friends from college.  Here's, in essence, what she said:

So Katie told me that you are planning on homeschooling in the fall.  I think that's great, but I wanted to let you know that I'm coming back as principal at the Montessori school and there are open slots in the afternoon kindergarten.  There will only be ten kids in the class.  Of course, it's free and the kindergarten teacher is fantastic.  I thought you might be interested.  If you are, let me know.

That short conversation sent me into a tailspin.  The Montessori school she is referring to is public and is usually the most difficult school to get into in the district.  They hold a lottery every year in April to see who gets in.  I have never met a single person who has been unhappy with their experience there.  Quite the contrary, everyone seems thrilled to be getting what they perceive to be close to a private Montessori experience for no money.

The top three reasons I decided to homeschool for K were that I didn't want full day kindergarten (every public school in our district is full day except this one), I was concerned about class size, and I was concerned about teacher quality.  Everything she said neutralized those concerns.  Red has been asking to try kindergarten and go with her friends.  Her two closest friends from the neighborhood lotteried into the afternoon kindergarten class there.  I had told her that she couldn't go with them because she couldn't get in.  That's not the case now.  I have trouble keeping her busy in the afternoon usually because Tom Thumb is asleep from 1-4ish usually.  Kindergarten would be from 1230-330PM.

The Cobbler and I talked it over.  He said, "I don't see a downside.  And if it doesn't work out, you can pull her out."  It all seemed to be coming together so perfectly.  Then why was I unable to sleep at night?

I had planned to be her mother and her teacher for so long.  I had spent hours researching and selecting curricula not just for this year but for future years.  I had put together a list of books we would read for our geography study.  My whole plan was in jeopardy.  If I'm not homeschooling her full time, who am I? Am I now a public school parent? What?!?! That doesn't feel like me.  It was then I had to stop and think---who is this really about?   I didn't want to let her go to school because my identity was at risk.   

I was going crazy and at the time emailing back and forth with the leader of the homeschooling group that I'm in about whether or not I could or would stay in the group.  Here's a quotation from one of her emails.  In that moment, it helped me so much:

You are still a homeschooling parent- you have a preschooler at home to work with. Don't forget that. And just because she is going, doesn't mean he will. I have had to deal with that a lot with both kids- one may want to school the other may not, and you might always be homeschooling one, or you might have a year or two off of it, who knows. I really think, in the end, you just have to revisit it every year, and it sucks for planners like myself, and probably you, who want to have it all planned out in advance, but parenting just isn't that way, nor is homeschooling, if you are going to follow your kids lead, and do what is best for them- and that's what you are doing. You aren't following any dogma, and it's harder I think at times to do this- well, no, I KNOW it's harder to parent that way- but it's worth it. You teach them to fly this way.  I wouldn't try to get caught up in the labels (public school parent/homeschool parent, etc.). Just be their mother- that's who you are. That is what matters, none of the rest of it.

So we're going to let her go and see how it goes.  Sigh...   We're going to do what I planned too, but be flexible about it and do things as they make sense.  I'm not going to be a slave driver.  It's kindergarten for goodness sake! 

Will she stay in public school for first grade?  We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.  For now, we're still homeschoolers afternooning as public schoolers--- ha ha!  I'm done with playing the label game.  I'm going to do what makes sense for our family and see what happens along the way.

"Hello! I'm Stavros from Greece."

"Greece!?!?  Like grease?"
That was Red's first reaction to that sentence.  We've been reading The BFG by Roald Dahl and in it the giant mentions that the only country they don't eat humans from is Greece because they are so greasy.  I guess it's all tying together nicely.  Ha ha.

To make school a little more fun, I'm starting to formulate some ideas for geography units studies for when we officially start in September.  For now, I bought a globe, a world map, and a map of the United States at Target.  We're reading some books from the library about maps and children of other cultures.  The books we've read so far are Children Around the World by Donata Montanari (the book with Stavros in it!) and Wake Up, World!: A Day in the Life of Children Around the World by Beatrice Hollyer.  These books were both great introductions to what life is like for children in other countries.  Wake Up, World! is a photo book about a day in lives of eight children in different parts of the world so it led to Red asking a lot of questions about their dress (or lack thereof!) and their lifestyle (Cidinha gets to sleep in a hammock in her house!?!?).  We also took a moment to find each of their countries on the globe.  Children Around the World is illustrated and had more general information about what life is like for twelve children of different countries.  Great introductions!  I can't wait until we get more specific.  I'm hoping to be able to read some books, do a craft, and cook a meal from each country we investigate.  I hope to find some good age appropriate DVDs to watch too.

Tom Thumb is currently obsessed with having me point out where Niagara Falls is on the globe since we just got back.  I get to hear "Where Niagara Falls?" while he is vigorously tapping the globe over and over and over. I guess he's learning something about geography too. :-)

Wordless Wednesday

Vermont

We're back finally!  We got home on Saturday and I'm still buried underneath dirty laundry, miscellaneous camping gear, wet towels (yes, ick!  I forgot them in the van until today), and a bunch of red reusable Target bags full of who knows what.  I was lucky enough to leave it in there until today and pretend that my house was still clean after vacation.  Well, Red's friend wanted to come with us to story hour at the library so it all had to come out so I could set up the third row seat for her to ride in.

Vermont was nice.  It's so hard for me to get into vacation mode anymore.  I'm always thinking about what needs to be done at home, what we need to do next schedule wise that day, what we're going to make for dinner that night...ugh.  I wish I was better at living in the moment and sitting still, but I'm not.  I'm hoping that one day I can be all Zen and just wash dishes to wash dishes. 

We stayed in the rented house which was fine.  Nothing special, but a place to lay our heads.  It was a "camp", which means no insulation and the tap water came untreated directly out of the lake.  Don't want to be drinking that stuff!  We had a good laugh about the appearance of the neighbors' yard.  Picture a shed made of unpainted plywood with a burnt out Budweiser sign hanging on it.  Next to that is an old refrigerator with the door open with an empty bottle of liquor on top.  All this loveliness was surrounded by a ton of pieces of wood with an axe sticking out of it.  No grass either.  It was all on top of a pile of gravel along with a Bobcat and an old trailer.

We ended up spending most of the time at the campground anyway swimming and hanging out.  Red overnighted at the campground every night, splitting her time with her grandma and her aunt and cousin.  She loved it so much she cried and cried the night before we left.  My mother-in-law is already trying to get us commit to going again next year and staying on the campground this time.  I told her we'd think about it.  I told the Cobbler that in order for me to be comfortable I need somewhere to pee at the campsite (I'm not walking 10 minutes down to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  Ever since the kids, I have to pee 1-2 times in the night.  A chamber pot?), I'd need earplugs and a sleep mask (I wake at the drop of a hat at home and sleeping outside I'm sure would be louder than my own bed), and we'd need to work out a cooking schedule and menu.  Every night someone would be making something that someone else couldn't or wouldn't eat and I felt like we were wasting so much food.  It definitely could have worked out better.

Besides the normal campfires and S'mores making, we took a day trip to Bennington and Manchester.  Good times.  Here are some photos:

About a third of the crew at my mom-in-law's campsite for a campfire.

Catching salamanders with Auntie Sandra

After riding the Minniehaha Steamboat on Lake George

All wet from riding the Maid of the Mist in Niagara Falls on the way home.  Even with the ponchos on we got soaked!  That's what a little wind will get you.

Now on to the rest of summer! 

Back from Tennessee. On to...

...Vermont.  We spent last weekend at a fabulous family reunion in Tennessee at my cousin's HUGE house.  There were nine of us staying there as guests (everyone else was in hotels), but they could have fit a lot more.  Red and Tom Thumb had a grand time bonding with their cousins, running, jumping, skinning knees, swimming in the neighborhood pool, and generally keeping me awake at all hours.  On night #1 (we stayed 3 nights), Mr. Thumb and I were supposed to be sharing a full size bed while Red was on the air mattress on the floor.  He kicked and slapped me so many times in his sleep that I ended up on the bare floor covered up with a bath towel for the night.  Not much sleep was had.  Luckily, I brought another air mattress with me so he got the bed to himself for the rest of the trip.  So much for sleeping with a two year old.  Ouch!

So we leave for Vermont on Friday or Saturday for another family trip.  This time it is to camp with the Cobbler's family.  We opted out of the camping part and are staying in a cottage just outside the entrance to the state park that everyone else is in.  I'm not quite ready to take the plunge into tent/lean to camping yet for a full week.  It should be a good time once we get past the 11 hour drive there.

Here's some of our family reunion photos: