In my struggle to figure out what I want to do next with my life, I've been doing research online. One suggestion I came across while listening to a life coaching lecture done by Talane Miedaner was the concept of the "clean sweep." The Clean Sweep Program is a self assessment that you can take to see where you are at in your life in four areas: Physical Environment, Well Being, Money, and Relationships. The goal is to achieve a score of 100 out of 100 during a 6 -24 month period.
The site says that the a person taking the assessment for the first time will score between 30 and 70. I tried the assessment and scored a 46. No surprise to me that I couldn't check yes to "I have nothing around the house or in storage that I do not need" or "I rarely use caffeine." The list was a good jumping off point, but do I really need to say yes to "I use well-made sunglasses?" I think that would probably the lowest priority thing on the list.
I thought you all might enjoy checking it out and see what score you get. The idea is to play it as a game and keep at it until you can get all of your boxes filled in.
Here's the link to the clean sweep.
So did you try it out? What score did you get on your first try? Do you think you could play the clean sweep game? What is the one thing from the list that could make a positive change in your life?
Showing posts with label personal goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal goals. Show all posts
Friday, March 2, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to fail.
Something I've struggled with for most of my life is fear of failure. By the time I got into high school, I never wanted to try anything I thought I wouldn't be a star at. I liked playing basketball in middle school. But when high school rolled around, I joined the cross country team. I knew I could earn a varsity letter as a freshman running, but I would only be on junior varsity in basketball. So I ran mile after mile for two years until a knee injury benched me. I auditioned for the school plays and got the role of the lead's confidante, but never went after the big role because I didn't want to face someone else beating me. When I got to college, I never even auditioned for a role (even though I secretly wanted to) because I knew I could rule the roost in the costume department. And in true form, I got the paid position of the costume shop supervisor as a junior. As the years passed, I would try new things but only things that couldn't reject me---quilting, stained glass, skydiving. I could die skydiving, but the ground sure as hell couldn't tell me I wasn't good enough if I hit it.
In my childhood drawings, I was always a doctor or an artist. 300 level biology lab showed me the exit door from the pre-med program and just plain old fear of rejection prevented me from ever considering my creative pursuits could be on the same caliber with anyone else. After abandoning biology/pre-med and theater as majors, I settled on marketing. Marketing suited me. It was creative and I could excel among my classmates. I knew I could find a well paying job. After college, I went to work for the sales division of an automotive company.
Even though the social aspect of a sales job had suited my extrovert personality well, the high anxiety associated with meeting monthly sales objectives and the fierce competition that took place in the office took a toll on me. After describing the work environment to a friend once, she exclaimed, "Holy cow! You work in the Boiler Room. Just like the movie!" I left that job when I had Red. I have zero regrets about leaving that job...except maybe those times when I have lunch with an old co-worker, they tell me about their latest promotion, and I think "That could have been me!"
The Cobbler and I had a discussion last night about our aspirations and where we want to see ourselves in 10 years. It was the first serious conversation about life goals (aside from money and retirement) we've had in a long time. All of this was triggered around the promotion of one of his co-workers. It isn't that he thought his co-worker was undeserving of the new job, but he was upset he wasn't considered for it. His first thought was what's the matter with me?
But did he want that job? For a lot of years, the answer has been no. He told me he didn't want the extra pressure and responsibility of a management position. The extra hours that her perceived he'd have to work were unappealing at best. I think he's starting to realize that he's grown, he's capable, he can do it, he's ready for it, but like me he's been afraid.
I want to have a pursuit other than being a stay at home parent, but I want to be available to my husband and my children. I want to be there to pick my kids up from school, make dinner for them, and drive them to dance and karate. Tom Thumb will enter kindergarten in the fall. What do I want to do with my life next? Well, I won't be strong arming any old men in suits into buying more pick up trucks. That's for sure.
So after the Cobbler and I decided that we'd save for a trip to Hawaii that we'll take somewhere between 2015 and 2017, we held each other hands, we looked into each others' eyes, and said, "I'm not going to be afraid anymore." I feel ready. It's about time.
In my childhood drawings, I was always a doctor or an artist. 300 level biology lab showed me the exit door from the pre-med program and just plain old fear of rejection prevented me from ever considering my creative pursuits could be on the same caliber with anyone else. After abandoning biology/pre-med and theater as majors, I settled on marketing. Marketing suited me. It was creative and I could excel among my classmates. I knew I could find a well paying job. After college, I went to work for the sales division of an automotive company.
Even though the social aspect of a sales job had suited my extrovert personality well, the high anxiety associated with meeting monthly sales objectives and the fierce competition that took place in the office took a toll on me. After describing the work environment to a friend once, she exclaimed, "Holy cow! You work in the Boiler Room. Just like the movie!" I left that job when I had Red. I have zero regrets about leaving that job...except maybe those times when I have lunch with an old co-worker, they tell me about their latest promotion, and I think "That could have been me!"
The Cobbler and I had a discussion last night about our aspirations and where we want to see ourselves in 10 years. It was the first serious conversation about life goals (aside from money and retirement) we've had in a long time. All of this was triggered around the promotion of one of his co-workers. It isn't that he thought his co-worker was undeserving of the new job, but he was upset he wasn't considered for it. His first thought was what's the matter with me?
But did he want that job? For a lot of years, the answer has been no. He told me he didn't want the extra pressure and responsibility of a management position. The extra hours that her perceived he'd have to work were unappealing at best. I think he's starting to realize that he's grown, he's capable, he can do it, he's ready for it, but like me he's been afraid.
I want to have a pursuit other than being a stay at home parent, but I want to be available to my husband and my children. I want to be there to pick my kids up from school, make dinner for them, and drive them to dance and karate. Tom Thumb will enter kindergarten in the fall. What do I want to do with my life next? Well, I won't be strong arming any old men in suits into buying more pick up trucks. That's for sure.
So after the Cobbler and I decided that we'd save for a trip to Hawaii that we'll take somewhere between 2015 and 2017, we held each other hands, we looked into each others' eyes, and said, "I'm not going to be afraid anymore." I feel ready. It's about time.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Book Review: The Art of Forgetting...and some 2012 dreaming
The Art of Forgetting opens on the main character Marissa, a health and fitness magazine editor in New York City, waiting to meet her best friend Julia for dinner. Marisa catches a glimpse of Julia through the restaurant window as she gets plowed down by a taxi while crossing the street. Julia suffers a traumatic brain injury that forces her to abandon her life in New York and move back to Michigan to live with her parents. The book tracks Marissa's struggle to come to terms with the changes in Julia's personality post-accident and how Julia's past influence on her life has affected her. Because Julia has lost her filter on what is appropriate, she begins trying to reconnect Marissa with her college boyfriend whom Julia forced her to break up with a decade earlier. Can Marissa be her own person and live her own life without being under Julia's thumb?
As I began reading The Art of Forgetting, I was a little distracted by knowing the person who wrote the book. I was not friends with this girl, but I remember her because she was popular and well liked. She was of the student council/cheerleading squad variety, except unlike in the movies, she had a warm personality. Getting back to the review --- as I started reading I was distracted by the narrator seemingly being a thinly disguised version of the author. I even let a surprised laugh escape when I realized she named the main character's boyfriend's mother after another girl who went to our high school. Trust me---she has not met anyone else with this name. In the end, I was pleasantly surprised with this book. The Art of Forgetting was an easy read with a few cringe worthy moments, courtesy of Julia and Marissa's weight obsessed mother. The smoothness of the narrative was similar to the books I just read by Sarah Addison Allen. Although the subject matter was a bit heavy, you always felt like you were reading something that could easily be made into made for TV movie. It was a worthy debut with an uplifting ending. I'll be interested to see Pagan tackles next in her writing.
On a separate but related note, 2012 is off to an uneven start for me. I've been suffering a bit with a still unidentified illness (I don't want to elaborate because that would definitely be TMI :-). I want to beat my head against the wall on this one---I just can't see why I can't stay healthy! Because of feeling under the weather, I haven't even considered my goals for the upcoming year which is very unlike me. I've also been thinking a lot about dreams. It was kind of a shock seeing that book on the shelf in the library and thinking "Wow, someone I know has published a novel!" Then, I found out that another girl I was friends with in high school just came out with an album of Christian music and was named one of Billboard's Artists to Watch in 2011. When we were in high school, she was constantly talking of how she wanted to get a record deal one day. I have to hand it to her. Our 20th high school reunion might be only two years away, but she did it! I bought the MP3 copy of the album and the songs are pretty darn good too.
So where does that leave me? I learned a long time ago that you can't compare yourself to others, but sometimes it's hard not to---especially when you were the one voted "Most Likely to Succeed" in high school. Do I want to be a professional singer? Nope and I don't have the singing talent to be one anyway. Do I want to be a novelist? That would be nice, but I don't think I have the motivation in that area to produce anything epic right now. The Cobbler reminded me that I'm a great wife and mother, although it's my nature question that daily. When the kids are driving me out of my mind, of course I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing! My bucket list has been pretty much checked off. I did all the skydiving, hot air ballooning, and European travelling I wanted to do before we had kids. So what now? That's what I'm going to be considering over the next few weeks. I am glad to be doing what I'm doing. I'm grateful for my life. To steal a quote from The Art of Forgetting:
"Oh Marissa," Julia said, sounding almost weary. "You're so lucky. And one day you'll realize it. But I think luck isn't nearly as important as what you decide to do with it."
So it's time for me to decide --- what am I going to make of my luck?
What are you going to make of yours?
Thursday, July 28, 2011
My 2011 Goals --- 7 months later
At the beginning of the year, I did a post about what my personal goals were for 2011. It's nice to feel like I've made some progress --- yay! I'm hopeful that the rest of the year will be productive and successful too. In italics below are my original goals I set back in January. Below each goal I wrote in the progress I've made thus far.
Healthy - I am managing my illness. I am planning healthy meals and snacks for my family. I am exercising at least 3 days per week. We just bought a 3 month membership at the local rec center so I'm planning on taking the kids 2 days a week to swim (one of those times is for their swim lesson and once for just fun). I'd like to make it over one other time on my own before they get up in the morning. I have an appointment with the trainer on 1/10 to come up with a realistic workout that accommodates my knee injury.
I think I've taken the greatest strides in terms of my goal to be healthy. So far in 2011, I've only had one episode associated with my illness and that was back in March. I've just recently gone off of my meds after my insurance started considering them a "non-preferred drug" (What the heck? Who wants to pay $50 for 30 pills that we're not even sure are working?) We're doing well in the healthy meal and snack department (but couldn't we always do a little better?), and I've been consistently weight lifting and doing cardio 2-3 days a week with my workout partner Colleen since the beginning of February. Colleen has been the key to that one though. If she wasn't going to the gym, I don't think I would be going so thanks Colleen! I've been taking the kids to the pool once or twice a week, and Red has made some amazing progress with her swim lessons. She can do the crawl now! What a difference from last summer when she wouldn't even put her face in the water!
I think I've taken the greatest strides in terms of my goal to be healthy. So far in 2011, I've only had one episode associated with my illness and that was back in March. I've just recently gone off of my meds after my insurance started considering them a "non-preferred drug" (What the heck? Who wants to pay $50 for 30 pills that we're not even sure are working?) We're doing well in the healthy meal and snack department (but couldn't we always do a little better?), and I've been consistently weight lifting and doing cardio 2-3 days a week with my workout partner Colleen since the beginning of February. Colleen has been the key to that one though. If she wasn't going to the gym, I don't think I would be going so thanks Colleen! I've been taking the kids to the pool once or twice a week, and Red has made some amazing progress with her swim lessons. She can do the crawl now! What a difference from last summer when she wouldn't even put her face in the water!
Happy - My husband and I are close and are going on a couple of date nights per month. I am planning time each month to spend with friends. I am spending less time on the computer and watching TV and more time living my life. I'd like limit recreational computer time to 30 minutes (with allowing extra time for listing things on eBay or doing household related items) and limit TV time during the week to 1 hour per day.
This goal I'm still working on. The Cobbler and I are going out once or twice a month which has been great. Granted, we're not doing anything major (we usually end up browsing at Barnes and Noble or TJMaxx), but we're talking and spending time away from the kids which is always good. My TV time has gone way down, but my computer time is still about the same. I need to work on reducing that more...
This goal I'm still working on. The Cobbler and I are going out once or twice a month which has been great. Granted, we're not doing anything major (we usually end up browsing at Barnes and Noble or TJMaxx), but we're talking and spending time away from the kids which is always good. My TV time has gone way down, but my computer time is still about the same. I need to work on reducing that more...
Getting to know God - I am spending time daily in study, prayer, and meditation. I am committing one hour per week to a cause I am passionate about. I will find a church situation with which I can be content. I will continue to teach Sunday School and write for the prison ministry. I will commit myself to listening for God's voice in my daily life. I will plan family devotions.
This goal is probably where I'm doing the worst. I've had a crisis of faith of sorts this year (i.e. I'm not really sure if there is a "right" belief system anymore) so I've been reading a lot and trying to work my way through that. I guess that I have been spending time working on my faith and trying to figure out what it all means, but it feels kind of weird not having a specific direction. I have not found a cause to work on, I've decided my church situation is fine for now, and I have not done anything about family devotions.
Some things I have done right in this area are teach Sunday School and write for the prison ministry. Baby steps...
This goal is probably where I'm doing the worst. I've had a crisis of faith of sorts this year (i.e. I'm not really sure if there is a "right" belief system anymore) so I've been reading a lot and trying to work my way through that. I guess that I have been spending time working on my faith and trying to figure out what it all means, but it feels kind of weird not having a specific direction. I have not found a cause to work on, I've decided my church situation is fine for now, and I have not done anything about family devotions.
Some things I have done right in this area are teach Sunday School and write for the prison ministry. Baby steps...
A good example for my children - I want to feel like my kids would be great adults if they modeled my behavior; therefore, I need to think more before I act or open my mouth. Continue to teach them and read to them. I want to give them opportunities to try new things and have new experiences without being pushy. I want to give my children equal individual attention.
This goal isn't very tangible, but I'm feeling good about how it's going overall. I'm obviously a work in progress so I'm not perfect. I am, however, trying to put my best foot forward with the kids. We've read a lot, we've done a lot of fun projects, and we've enjoyed our time together. Okay, I guess I can say we're doing well in this area.
This goal isn't very tangible, but I'm feeling good about how it's going overall. I'm obviously a work in progress so I'm not perfect. I am, however, trying to put my best foot forward with the kids. We've read a lot, we've done a lot of fun projects, and we've enjoyed our time together. Okay, I guess I can say we're doing well in this area.
Pursuing a personal goal - I want to establish a meaningful goal so at the end of the year I can celebrate a tangible achievement. Some ideas are pursuing publication for my children's book, getting family scrapbooks up to date, and starting a trip fund so we can go on a big vacation in 2012. I'd also like to finish the quilt I started for my nephew's birthday 2 years ago. Unfinished projects be gone!
I think the real gist of this goal was for me to get a sense of completion on something. I had (and still have) so many unfinished projects lying about that it was making me angry and stressed out. I've made lots of good progress. The aforementioned quilt for my nephew is done, I'm nearly done with a quilt for Tom Thumb, and I have one in progress for Red. I just finished a digital album of our 2008 photos (yes---I am that far behind!). One step at a time!
I'm looking forward to revisiting this at the end of the year and seeing where I wind up. What are your goals for 2011? How are they coming?
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Adios unfinished projects!
I took some steps today to start working on my 2011 goals. First, I reached out to my Well Trained Mind Forum sisters to see if anyone had any suggestions for a daily devotional to get me started on my goal of getting closer to God. BeckyFL directed me to Crosswalk.com where I found the Bible Pathways devotional. This is just what I was looking for. There's also a whole variety of other daily devotionals that are available that I am looking forward to perusing when I have more time. I found it very interesting that today's Day by Day devotion was discussing the feeling of accomplishment. The Bible verse that was cited was John 17:4 when Jesus was talking to God the Father --- "I glorified Thee on the earth, having accomplished the work which Thou hast given Me to do." So what does God want me to accomplish here on earth this year? That's something I'd like to ponder more.
Speaking of accomplishment, I started working on completing all those unfinished projects that have been plaguing me. At the end of this year I want to say to myself, "See---you did get something done!" I went with Red to Joann and bought a sterling silver jump ring to fix my broken necklace. The Cobbler bought it for me the Christmas after Tom Thumb was born and I wore it a lot. Being a baby at the time, Tom Thumb was obsessed with touching it. He pulled right off my neck several times and the last time it happened the jump ring was lost. Now it's as good as new. Yay!
The other project that I took upon myself today is a quilt that I started at a quilting retreat in February 2009 for my nephew's first birthday that was in December 2009. Well, he's 2 now and still doesn't have the quilt. I did some piecing work to it today so now the quilt top is complete (woo hoo---it's a New Year's miracle!). I still need to quilt it and bind it. I bought some material to back it with at Joann along with some variegated thread for machine quilting it. I'll post photos when it's done. I'm shooting for completion by February 12th which is the date of this year's quilt retreat so I can show it off to my quilter friends before I ship it to my nephew. In the meantime, here's a sneak preview:
I have oodles of other projects to work on, like scrapbooking the photos of our pre-kids 2004 trip to Italy. Unfortunately, I quit at day #3 of our two week trip sometime around when Red was born. In spite of my past project procrastination, today made me feel good. Hopefully, more days like this one are around the corner.
Speaking of accomplishment, I started working on completing all those unfinished projects that have been plaguing me. At the end of this year I want to say to myself, "See---you did get something done!" I went with Red to Joann and bought a sterling silver jump ring to fix my broken necklace. The Cobbler bought it for me the Christmas after Tom Thumb was born and I wore it a lot. Being a baby at the time, Tom Thumb was obsessed with touching it. He pulled right off my neck several times and the last time it happened the jump ring was lost. Now it's as good as new. Yay!
The other project that I took upon myself today is a quilt that I started at a quilting retreat in February 2009 for my nephew's first birthday that was in December 2009. Well, he's 2 now and still doesn't have the quilt. I did some piecing work to it today so now the quilt top is complete (woo hoo---it's a New Year's miracle!). I still need to quilt it and bind it. I bought some material to back it with at Joann along with some variegated thread for machine quilting it. I'll post photos when it's done. I'm shooting for completion by February 12th which is the date of this year's quilt retreat so I can show it off to my quilter friends before I ship it to my nephew. In the meantime, here's a sneak preview:
Saturday, January 1, 2011
My 2011 Goals
I hate writing New Year's resolutions. Hate them. I always feel like I'm setting myself up for failure because in the past they've always been so unrealistic. Like the year I said I would go to the gym everyday. Yeah, that was realistic.
This year I wrote up some goals the other day that point in the direction I want to go. Will I accomplish all of them? Probably not. On the other hand, it's always nice to have a path laid out in front of you so that if you find yourself getting off track you can just say, "Hey self! The path's over here! Why are you out walking in the weeds by that lake? You're going to fall in!!!"
So---for better or worse, here are my goals for this year.
In the ideal 2011, I am:
Healthy - I am managing my illness. I am planning healthy meals and snacks for my family. I am exercising at least 3 days per week. We just bought a 3 month membership at the local rec center so I'm planning on taking the kids 2 days a week to swim (one of those times is for their swim lesson and once for just fun). I'd like to make it over one other time on my own before they get up in the morning. I have an appointment with the trainer on 1/10 to come up with a realistic workout that accommodates my knee injury.
Happy - My husband and I are close and are going on a couple of date nights per month. I am planning time each month to spend with friends. I am spending less time on the computer and watching TV and more time living my life. I'd like limit recreational computer time to 30 minutes (with allowing extra time for listing things on eBay or doing household related items) and limit TV time during the week to 1 hour per day.
Getting to know God - I am spending time daily in study, prayer, and meditation. I am committing one hour per week to a cause I am passionate about. I will find a church situation with which I can be content. I will continue to teach Sunday School and write for the prison ministry. I will commit myself to listening for God's voice in my daily life. I will plan family devotions.
A good example for my children - I want to feel like my kids would be great adults if they modeled my behavior; therefore, I need to think more before I act or open my mouth. Continue to teach them and read to them. I want to give them opportunities to try new things and have new experiences without being pushy. I want to give my children equal individual attention.
Pursuing a personal goal - I want to establish a meaningful goal so at the end of the year I can celebrate a tangible achievement. Some ideas are pursuing publication for my children's book, getting family scrapbooks up to date, and starting a trip fund so we can go on a big vacation in 2012. I'd also like to finish the quilt I started for my nephew's birthday 2 years ago. Unfinished projects be gone!
Now that I'm reading all this back, I must admit I feel a little bit overwhelmed. I know in my heart though if I break it into baby steps I can accomplish more than I imagine. Here's to a 2011 that brings success, accomplishment and beautiful blessings to all!
This year I wrote up some goals the other day that point in the direction I want to go. Will I accomplish all of them? Probably not. On the other hand, it's always nice to have a path laid out in front of you so that if you find yourself getting off track you can just say, "Hey self! The path's over here! Why are you out walking in the weeds by that lake? You're going to fall in!!!"
So---for better or worse, here are my goals for this year.
In the ideal 2011, I am:
Healthy - I am managing my illness. I am planning healthy meals and snacks for my family. I am exercising at least 3 days per week. We just bought a 3 month membership at the local rec center so I'm planning on taking the kids 2 days a week to swim (one of those times is for their swim lesson and once for just fun). I'd like to make it over one other time on my own before they get up in the morning. I have an appointment with the trainer on 1/10 to come up with a realistic workout that accommodates my knee injury.
Happy - My husband and I are close and are going on a couple of date nights per month. I am planning time each month to spend with friends. I am spending less time on the computer and watching TV and more time living my life. I'd like limit recreational computer time to 30 minutes (with allowing extra time for listing things on eBay or doing household related items) and limit TV time during the week to 1 hour per day.
Getting to know God - I am spending time daily in study, prayer, and meditation. I am committing one hour per week to a cause I am passionate about. I will find a church situation with which I can be content. I will continue to teach Sunday School and write for the prison ministry. I will commit myself to listening for God's voice in my daily life. I will plan family devotions.
A good example for my children - I want to feel like my kids would be great adults if they modeled my behavior; therefore, I need to think more before I act or open my mouth. Continue to teach them and read to them. I want to give them opportunities to try new things and have new experiences without being pushy. I want to give my children equal individual attention.
Pursuing a personal goal - I want to establish a meaningful goal so at the end of the year I can celebrate a tangible achievement. Some ideas are pursuing publication for my children's book, getting family scrapbooks up to date, and starting a trip fund so we can go on a big vacation in 2012. I'd also like to finish the quilt I started for my nephew's birthday 2 years ago. Unfinished projects be gone!
Now that I'm reading all this back, I must admit I feel a little bit overwhelmed. I know in my heart though if I break it into baby steps I can accomplish more than I imagine. Here's to a 2011 that brings success, accomplishment and beautiful blessings to all!
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