Total Mom Makeover: Week 2, Day 3 and performing a book club miracle...

Hannah Keeley has stolen a page from the Flylady play book!  Not like Flylady has a monopoly on the word "zone" and decluttering for a limited period of time (Flylady has "You can do anything in 15 minutes" and Keeley has the "Ten Minute Tidy"), but it seems awful suspicious to me that the tasks for today involve dividing your house into zones and then decluttering the first zone for the rest of the week.

Because I have been a Flylady disciple on and off over the years, I already have my house divided into zones:

Zone 1: Foyer/Front Porch/Dining Room

Zone 2: Kitchen

Zone 3:   Bathrooms/Study

Zone 4: Bedrooms

Zone 5: Living Room/Family Room/Laundry Room

Even though I have gotten rid of so much stuff in the last year, we still have way too much.  As fast as I can get it out, more stuff comes in!  I just need to say no when someone offers me their crazy old Christmas vest (yes, this actually happened and yes, I took the vest...stupid, stupid, stupid).

Today I'm feeling pretty exhausted.  I committed to too much this week.  I spent the morning being Red's teacher's copy girl (2 1/2 hours of copying, labeling, and laminating), I fed Tom Thumb and put him down for his nap, and in one hour I have to pick up the carpool.  I have no food in the house...which brings me to book club.

I performed a miracle last night --- I hosted book club at my house without going to the grocery store first and only using what we had on hand from when I went shopping a week ago.  The one thing I was a little bit embarrassed that I didn't have was decaf coffee, but everything else came together.  I ended up baking my mother's plum kuchen and a batch of gluten free chocolate peanut butter cookies for my GF friend in the group.  Here's Tom Thumb helping with the cookies yesterday.  He's squishing them flat with a glass:

I had some raw carrots and broccoli and the ingredients for dill dip.  Then, I cut up some cheeses and served it with crackers.  The big winner that came out of this exercise was when I figured out something I could do with crescent rolls that didn't involve running out to purchase baby wieners.  I found this spinach pinwheel recipe and amazingly had all the ingredients!  Everyone loved them too!

I have some serious assessing I'm going to be doing over the next few days regarding afterschooling with the kids.  I'm hoping to have a plan together before the end of the week.

Here's to Wednesday!

What if you only had a few years left?

I don't get out with the girls too often, but last night was the second time in a month that I've seen a few of my high school friends.  Through those girls nights out, I found out that an acquaintance of mine who is a mother of three elementary school age children is having health issues.  The bottom line --- she has cancer and was given three to five years to live.


What do you do with that information?  How do you even begin to process that as a wife, as a mother, as just a human being?  I think it's different if you are given a short period to live, like six months.  In that case, you decide what you want to do and then you get out there and do it because that time is going to fly.  But five years?  That's a whole different banana.  How much of that time will you be well?  What is your quality of life going to be like?  How do you keep yourself going mentally and not get depressed?  What would I want to teach my kids?  How would I want to spend my time?  I know I'm going to be dwelling on this one for days.  I cannot stop thinking about her and her family.

Coincidentally, I just finished Bethenny Frankel's book, A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life.  This is a self help book with very typical advice (like "Act on it." and "Separate from the pack.") made unique and interesting again by having Frankel's life experiences intermingled in it.  Who knew that she had been an actress, a production assistant for the show Saved by the Bell, an event planner, a pashmina seller, a healthy cookie baker, and on the Martha Stewart version of The Apprentice before landing on The Real Housewives of New York without even being a housewife!  I was really inspired by her ability to keep pushing even after failing, sometimes spectacularly, time after time.  
Again, this book made me think---what is really important in life?  


I think Frankel's best bit of advice in the whole book was "Everything's Your Business."  On one hand, she was referring to cultivating yourself as a brand.  But she goes on to say:


"When I say everything's your business, I mean treat everything you choose to do with as much importance as if your career depended on it.  Everything's your business means that every job, person, and experience is worth your full attention.  Whether you are at work or cooking dinner or cleaning your apartment or reading a book to your child, make what you do matter, and do it well."  


This spoke to me.  This is what is important in life.  Make every moment matter.  I am guilty of splitting my attention or nodding and saying "uh-huh" when I'm not really listening or doing things half way or not at all if I think I might fail.  I want what I'm doing to matter today when I'm gone because I listened and I acted and I loved.


I'm still doing the Total Mom Makeover, but in this case I am going to do it half way.  My friend Michelle told me that maybe the reason I don't have much to write about some of the tasks is because I'm already there.  Maybe I don't need a Total Mom Makeover...maybe just a Partial Mom Makeover!  So I've decided to do the parts of the book that are actually going to benefit me instead of doing the whole thing and have it be an exercise in futility.


In that spirit, the exercises for over the weekend were to develop an AM and PM routine.  I have both of those already.  Do I do them as written everyday?  No.  I am especially bad with the PM routine because I hate doing dishes.  Sometimes the dishes just get left until the next morning if I have an especially large pile of pots and pans.  In the end though, I think they can still work with some finessing.  


The Week 2, Day 1 tasks were to do the following:
-Create a sanctuary (get off your butt and make your bedroom clean and nice looking)
-Move your body (do some stretching in the morning to get yourself moving)
-Drink up (get your hydration on!)
-Squeeze in a nap (YAY!)
-Graze (she advocates eating healthy snacks like fruits and veggies throughout the day)
-Take your vitamins (she's a B vitamin fan)
- Breathe (do some deep breathing to start your day)
She also suggested writing down things that were sapping your energy and coming up with ways to attack those in a positive fashion.  She also wanted you to make your bed when you get up.  


This all felt pretty basic to me (which I guess is why Week #2 is actually called "Basic Mom."  Really it is.)  I'm feeling pretty good about these areas although the top of my dresser could use a 15 minute clean up and running the vacuum through there couldn't hurt.


I found the Week #2, Day #2 tasks to be a little R rated so I'll let you read that yourself if you're interested.  My blog is geared towards education, but not necessarily sex education, so if you want the author's advice about how to get down and dirty with your loved one feel free to consult pages 63-71. 


So live in the moment today, my friends!  You never know how long it's going to last.  Give your little ones big hugs tonight...

Total Mom Makeover: Week 1, Day 5

Here I am five days in on this one and I'm thinking there is not enough meat to the assignments from the Total Mom Makeover to devote an entire post to them.  Maybe they'll get tougher?  I'm thinking of relegating them to the bottom of my post each day.  We'll see how it goes...


We're back to our four categories again today --- Home, Health, Family and Life.  Today you're supposed to write down some ways you may negatively respond to those areas and how to replace that response with a positive one.  Here are mine:


Home - My negative response: Making excuses for leaving things messy because the kids are just going to mess it up again.  Positive response:  Setting some reasonable goals for cleanliness each day.  If there's a little mess leftover, don't sweat it.


Health - I don't know how to respond to this one really.  I'm doing really well with going to the gym and menu planning right now.  I do get angry when my body starts behaving in ways that make no sense (e.g. last year I had some digestive issues that came out of nowhere.  Turned out I had developed an inability to digest tree nuts as an adult).  I'm going to try to be kinder and gentler to myself in this department.  I need to realize that other than exercising, putting good food in my mouth, and going to the doctor when sick, my health is out of my control.


Family - Negative response: Screaming on the inside.  Sometimes when the kids are dawdling and not listening, I feel my temper rising.  99% of the time I just get through it, but in my head I'm screaming "WHY!?!?!  ARGH!!!"  Not like this is totally awful (we all get mad, right?), but I think it might be more productive to take  a deep breath and close my eyes for 10 seconds.  Get refocused and move on with my day.


Life - Negative response:  Avoiding doing things.  When I get worn down, I go into serious avoidance mode. I find anything to do (i.e. surfing the net, watching TV, having a snack) to not do what I need to do.  Positive response: Take a break, but then do one small task to get myself back on track.


Your second task is to mentally rehearse the positive responses.  I always find suggestions like that a little hokey, but really I've found visualizing what I want to be very helpful.  Time to visualize the Legos all over my dining room being cleaned up...


On an entirely separate note, if you need a new bathing suit Victoria's Secret is doing their semi-annual sale right now.  I was able to get three bathing suit tops and two bottoms for under $50.  Why do I need so many?  First, nothing ever seems to fit me properly so I'm anticipating taking back some if not all of them.  Second, I go through bathing suits like water.  I guess it's because I swim a lot with the kids, but I need to replace my suit every year or I get baggy butt. :-)


Well, since I'm an insomniac tonight I'm actually off to bed for round #2.  I went to bed at a decent hour, but for some reason can't sleep.  It's now 435AM.  I normally leave for the gym at 545.  I'm off to grab a banana (the early morning munchies call!) and try to clock in one hour of sleep.  TGIF!

Total Mom Makeover: Week 1, Day 4

Today's post is just going to be a quickie because I have to rush off to run my children around for evening activities.  Mondays and Thursdays always seem to be crazy!  One of today's Total Mom Makeover assignments were to get yourself a calendar or day planner if you don't already have one.  I no longer use a day planner (I've let my trusty Palm Pilot leftover from my corporate days collect dust for nearly eight years), but I've always been a huge fan of this calendar.  It's all date squares and no pictures.  So while it's not the most exciting in the world, it is surely one of the most useful.


The other assignment was to take your four vision categories --- Home, Health, Family and Life--- and write an action statement for each of them.  Here are mine:


Home - Spend 15 minutes each day getting rid of things I no longer use or need.
Health - Continue exercising three times each week and look for more tasty healthy meal recipes.
Family - Deliberately teach each child something each day.  It doesn't necessarily have to be something new or earth shattering. Today I got Tom Thumb to put his shoes on by himself...over the course of 20 minutes.  Sigh...
Life - Write a little bit each day.


None of these is major, but I don't think they have to be.  I just want to make some tangible progress each day.


On a completely separate note, I finished reading The Night Circus this afternoon while Tom Thumb was napping.  I'm seriously in love with that book.  I'm so in love with it I think I want to read it again right now.  No, I'm not kidding.  Watch for my review over the next few days...

Total Mom Makeover: Week 1, Day 3

Before I get started about what I did for the Total Mom Makeover today, I have to tell you about my new favorite place to buy gifts online ---Von Maur.  There is a brick and mortar Von Maur about 20 minutes from my house, but I never seem to be able to haul myself over there.  It is a very upscale store that often has great sales.  The beautiful thing about their website though is they offer FREE shipping with no minimum and FREE gift wrap!  How awesome is that?!?!  I have a girlfriend who lives out of state who is going through a rough time right now.  I wanted to let her know I was thinking of her, while not breaking my budget.  I was able to mail her this super cool bracelet that was originally $42, gift wrapped and shipped, for $21!  They have other cool things in their sale section for under $20 too.  Just wanted to share my find!

Today on Week 1, Day 3 of the Total Mom Makeover you are supposed to write a short vision statement for each of these areas of your life --- Home, Health, Family and Life.  Here are the sentences I wrote:

Home - My home blesses my family.

Health - My body is a temple and I will treat it as such.

Family - My family is my crowning glory.

Life - I live in the present.  I am grateful.

My home statement is very Flylady.  I have followed her website for years and have always been inspired by the notion that keeping your house clean and maintained blesses your family.  Thinking of my body as a temple reminds me to treat it right, both by exercising and by what I choose to put in my mouth to fuel it.  Viewing my family as my crowning glory reminds me that who they are is a reflection of me.  Finally, I worked on my life statement quite a bit.  It was initially longer and more complex, but then I thought more about it.  The simpler the better.  I want to enjoy each moment and be happy for each positive thing that shows up in my life.

The second task of the day is to write down any negative phrases you use around your kids and find suitable replacements.  I usually am able to keep my mouth under control, but I tend to mutter things under my breath.  I didn't realize that anybody heard anything until one day I heard my daughter saying to herself, "Ugh, I'm so pissed off."  Yeah, that was fantastic.

Here are my top 3 negative phrases and their replacements:

1. "Butthead."  Not my shiniest moment when I refer to Tom Thumb as this to my husband, e.g. "Tom Thumb was such a butthead today!"  My replacement: Tom Thumb was so difficult today.

2. "I'm so pissed off."  Replacement: I'm so angry OR I'm so upset.

3.  "Oh mother of God."  I guess "mother" could be followed with something worse, but still not the best choice.  Replacement: "Oh my goodness."  I feel very Julie Andrews writing that down.  Maybe I can go twirl around on the top of a mountain now--- ha ha!

I'm off to volunteer in Red's classroom.  Hope your day is filled with beauty and wonder!

Total Mom Makeover: Week 1, Day 2

On Week 1, Day 2 of the Total Mom Makeover, you're supposed to look at your "should" list from Day 1 and use it as a springboard to come up with a vision for what you want for your life.  You're are supposed to be as descriptive as possible.  Here's mine:


My Vision
I am grateful for each moment.  I show and tell my husband and children daily that I love them.  Being a stay at home parent and maintaining our home blesses me and my family.  I  prepare healthy meals and exercise at the gym three times each week.  Commitments I make bring joy to our lives and the lives of others.   I wear stylish clothes, accessorize, and do my hair and makeup each morning.  I spend my free time on hobbies I enjoy and don't waste this precious time.


Again, I'll probably have to finesse this statement a bit, but I think it says what I want to say.  Luckily, some of this stuff I already do.  I have the meals and exercising down, but I need to work on the other areas.  Baby steps...


The next thing you're supposed to do is get some photos together that illustrate your vision.  Here are mine:

from Rebecca at Chasing Cottons

I started reading The Night Circus last night while I was at tae kwon do with Tom Thumb.  So far it is awesome!  Very Something Wicked This Way Comes!  Today I really need to get my act together and go out grocery shopping.  Holy cow we are down to the nitty gritty!  I barely was able to scrape together a lunch for Red.  

Here's to a great Tuesday!

I'm going to try The Total Mom Makeover! (Week #1, Day #1)

After re-reading my last post and realizing that I'm having trouble goal setting right now, I've decided to take the plunge with The Total Mom Makeover by Hannah Keeley, a homeschooling mother of seven.  I checked it out from the library previously in early 2008, but didn't finish it.  I've decided to give it another whirl!


The book is supposed to take you six weeks to complete.  There are tasks (usually journaling) for each week day and then the weekends are for catch up.  I'll probably take the week off while we're on vacation next month, but I'm ready to rock and roll!  I'll write out the daily tasks and then post what I did so feel free to join in if you want.  In 2012, I want to be a person who owns her life and knows where she's going.


So the first task from Week #1, Day #1 is to write down all the "should" burdens that you carry around with you.  Here are mine:


I should keep a cleaner house.
I should be more patient with my children.
I should spend less time goofing off on the computer.
I should be more attentive to my husband.
I should be doing more charitable work.
I should call my sisters more often.
I should be more organized.
I should let go of the past.
I should be kinder when speaking of others with whom I don't agree.


I still have the journal that I wrote my should burdens in back in 2008 and the first two about housekeeping and patience are identical.  Clearly, I still think I need work in those areas.  You have to understand---I'm not a hoarder, and my house isn't gross.  I was just raised to have my house cleaned a certain way and if it's not at that level I am dissatisfied.  With my patience, I just have to acknowledge that I'm not going to be a perfect saint all the time.  I am a far more patient person than I was prior to having children.  I need to take pride in where I'm at and let perfectionism go.


The second task for Week #1, Day #1 is to write down what you desire for your home, health, family, and life with a sentence that begins with "I have decided..."


My sentence is:
I have decided to be proud of my life and my choices.  I will show my family love by caring for them, maintaining our home, and looking out for their best interests without sacrificing my health.  When I am faced with a decision, I will choose joy.


This statement is still in flux.  Maybe I'll change it later, but for now it seems like a good fit.  I'm looking forward to learning something about myself in this process and have a clearer vision of where I want to be when it's over.


Here's to a beautiful week!